Holiday Shopping

So we were doing a little holiday shopping last week.  We thought, wouldn't it be nice if we got a call from a birth-mother?  What a great gift this would be.
 
Today, we received a phone call from San Diego.  We were surprised.  We had to hide in the back of the store so no one could see us cry while talking on the phone.

We had a nice conversation with her.  When David received the phone call, I immediately sent text messages to our sisters and mothers.

Well.  This could be it.  But, we were not tempted to stop by the baby section of the store.   We were too excited to call our families.

Yay!  This will probably be the "Holiday of holidays" for us!

This week!

Last Friday, we received information that our home study was finalized.

Tomorrow, we are scheduled for our final interview before officially being in the race to find a birth mother. 

Last night, we received the final prints of our birth mother letters.  The package came from a printing press in California.  We signed about 150 letters before deciding to quit and give carpal tunnel syndrome a rest.  The adoption agency requires us to submit 100 signed letters for distribution to potential birth mothers.  Never have I been so excited to see a cardboard box on a dolly go out of Office Depot and into a UPS truck!

Tomorrow, the agency will receive our letters.  Just in time for the interview. 

Today, in the clinic, I brought 5 letters with me.  I already gave three out.  One of them was to a patient's sister's friend, who is 20 years old and who is in her 3rd pregnancy.  She terminated the last two pregnancies and plans to terminate this one, too.   I gave them our birth mother letter, explaining that there are a lot of parents out there who want to have a child.  

I hope and pray that she decides to have her baby and give a gift to a deserving couple.  A lot of us take this for granted... the gift of being able to bear a child.  More power to women!

Our children...Alex and Blue, the objects of our affection.

 

Although we had pets when I was growing up, I was never into pets in my adult life.   I was too busy to think of anything else but the clinic and my patients.  I would stay at the clinic until 10 p.m. and get there by 7 in the morning.  I was pretty used to this routine because I didn't have to come home to anyone.   I opened the clinic door one afternoon so that I could just breathe some fresh air,  when this hairy, gray cat stopped and looked at me in my doorstep, and proceeded to climb in to my arms.  

I took him into the clinic and kept him there for a few hours.  I noticed that he was sick (he was bleeding when he urinated).  He was immediately brought to the vet and had to have an operation for kidney stones.  I took him home that night, he slept in my arms like a child . . . and it has forever changed my life. 

I never understood why "those people" with pets are so weird about their animals.  Now, I understand. Alex is always there,  follows me around the house, and just sits there by me.  The first night I was with him, I took him upstairs, turned of all the lights and watched "Catwoman" with Halle Berry - I thought it would be a nice treat for him after having kidney stone surgery.   I know that to some,  it is funny to think of someone having affection and love for an animal.  Alex has been with me through two hurricane evacuations.  He even stayed at my friend's house in Plano for a month when my house was still damaged.  Needless to say, Alex has been there with me through rich and poor, thick and thin.   

When David and I moved in together,  his apartment was vacant for about a month before we completely moved his things out.  The last day of clean up, he found a mother cat with 4 kittens on his porch.  Someone had put the cats there on purpose, all of them in a cardboard box.  When David came home to bring his final things from his old place, he brought 5 cats with him.  The cats took the upstairs office as their room, until 4 of them were placed in other homes.  We had to take the runt of the group and called her "Blue" becuase of her eyes.  David became blue's mother.  I have seen David nurture her and carry her all around the house.     She would sleep on David's chest (maybe becasue of the warmth and the comforting heartbeat) - I was jealous!  :) 

Blue and Alex have now become best friends.  They play together all the time, and take care of each other.

Yes, Alex and Blue are our kids right now.  David and I feel lucky to have been "visited" by these cats... and they decided to stay.  Life will be different without them.  They play with us, hang out with us, and we believe that they understand our feelings.  These cats have our hearts.

These cats can give us joy, warmth and love; they give us a sense of responsibility.  Always reminding us that they depend on us for their welfare.  We can only imagine the magnitude of the same feelings coming from our own child! 

Our Adoption Letter

David and I decided on open adoption.  This means that we will be establishing a relationship with the child's birthmother.  The birthmother "picks" us from a pool of potential parents.  This way, she has control of an otherwise, difficult situation.  She decides whether or not we will be the perfect parents for her child.

We do not have a preference on whether the baby is a boy or a girl.  We believe that we can give the child a good home, a good upbringing, extensive support from family and friends, and our values of tolerance, honesty, and resilience.  Most of all, we can share our love to both the child and the birthmother.   We can't wait for someone to call us to meet and see if we are a good fit for each other.

Open adoption paves the way for the child to have an understanding of his or her origin.  It also removes the mystery of "why they were given up" because adoption will be openly instilled to the child so that there will be no question about his or her origin, and how much he or she is loved by us and her mother/father.  The birthmother also has closure toward the process.  She will be placing her child in a home and family of her choosing.

Our agency made us print our adoption letter.  David did a great job in designing it! 
We had to find pictures of us interacting with children and our families.  The pictures below are included in our birthmother letter.

We also had to fill out our profile on our adoption agency website.  It is a simple website that birthmothers use to find potential parents/families.  It contains text from our birthmother letter which can be downloaded from  Our iheartAdoption Website
 

We are truly excited to have this opportunity.  And we can't wait!

Lowe's will never be the same.

We went to Lowe's yesterday to look for safety hinges for kitchen cabinets.  The adoption agency informed us that we needed to install these before they come to our home visit.  We were looking at the building materials section and found nothing.  We went to the doorknobs and kitchen section and we did not find them, either. 

We asked a salesperson if they carried "those safety locks for kitchen cabinets for babies?"  He pointed out a single shelf with a small selection of safety locks and safety gates.  He then said "I knew what you were talking about because I had to buy those, too".

Thank goodness that we were lucky enough to find the right salesperson.  Before, we only went to Lowe's to buy paint, hardware and plants - - - items that "normal" people buy. 

From now on, we will be going to Lowe's to buy non-leaded, low-odor, water-based paints, baby-proof, tamper-proof, lightweight, plastic hardware, and non-edible, non-poisonous, baby-safe plants!   Are any of these things going to be good enough?

This is going to be harder than we thought.  Thank goodness for salespeople who are parents, too.

Almost there!

We are almost finished with our paperwork for our adoption.  Since "waiting" periods to match with a birthmother vary in length, we decided to fill our already busy schedules with this blog.  We think that sharing our thoughts, feelings and experiences would be good for us and maybe somoene else in our shoes.

Yes, we have done tons of paperwork already.  We attended an orientation, made a downpayment, attended a weekend intensive course about 90 miles away from home, and made more downpayments.

Our paperwork consisted of our autobiographies, resumes, health history records and physical exams, reference letters, tax documents and FBI fingerprints.  We have collected pictures, took some more pictures, finished reading two books, made some more downpayments,  and composed our "birthmother letter".  We were able to do all this in less than 45 days.  This just tells you how serious we are!  Or, maybe... we are over-achievers.

Now, we are just waiting for our home visit, where the agency comes to further scrutinize us, our pets, my Batman collection and everything else in our home in the flesh.

We are not done yet... there will be more down payments, paperwork, support groups, meetings, and waiting.  One thing's for sure... this is going to be a fun and interesting ride!